Somewhere along the way, the rules and the people got mixed up with God Himself. Your path back is meeting Jesus again, clean, outside the systems that hurt you. And when you do, you'll find He was the one flipping tables over religious abuse, the one gentle with the wounded and fierce toward those who crushed them. He is not like the ones who hurt you. Go read the Gospels like you've never met Him. You'll be surprised who you find.