Let this land: your anxiety is not a sign that you don't trust God. It's something your body and brain do, the way some people get migraines or high blood pressure. You can love God deeply and still feel anxious, and one does not cancel the other. Lay the guilt down. He's not asking you to white-knuckle your way to calm. He's inviting you to bring your fear to Him as a Father, not a judge, and to be kind to yourself in the meantime.